well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
