You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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