i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There r osticjed everywhere
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize