yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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