"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
