just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
