I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize