im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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