will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize