Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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