you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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