Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
