Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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