So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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