where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
