I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
