She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
