I'm gonna have a badass scar
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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