I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
