Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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