But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
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$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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