Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
