I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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