I heard we made out
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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