considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
