im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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