your thong is hanging out like whoa
Who did Billy Mays play for?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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