They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
