bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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