I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
