As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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