I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize