every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
