he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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