I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
nutella sex= disaster
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
