new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she peed on how many people?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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