Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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