I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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