Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
