I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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