Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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