Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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