How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
