Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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