Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
