guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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