i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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