Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
