maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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