Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
