1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
