Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
