bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
